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Read my Poetry!
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Moe: Posted on Sunday, January 15, 2012 1:21 PM
Forgiveness is a powerful emotion and action. It is a release of negative, useless energy. By learning forgiveness one can move forward with a lighter step, enjoy life more fully and be spiritually and mentally at peace. When I consider my own benefits from learning to forgive, I see myself beginning to stand taller and straighter. I experience peace of spirit.
I have a shelf unit in my home where I display family pictures. I began to sit in front of the pictures and often took a picture in my hands. As I looked at the pictures I thought back to moments in time where I felt I'd been hurt or wronged. I looked directly at the faces in these pictures and released old wounds and hurts. Quite often I would talk about the experience while forgiving not only that person but also forgiving myself. This took some time but with each healed wound I began to feel whole. I began to feel love for myself and I began to feel the love my family has for me. The burden I had been carrying was getting in the way of fully loving others. I talked to my parents, the first time in years. I told them of old wounds I'd thought of over the years. Memories that made me feel unworthy and unpretty. I heard my deceased parents whisper their love for me; almost felt them holding me. It was the beginning of so many lessons! A year or more after embarking on the path of forgiveness I was suddenly enlightened. One day as I realized those I'd forgiven had or have their own path, their own contract when existing in this reality. I thought of my folks and how they were raised, the beliefs and experiences they brought into their union and how they managed to their life, family and careers based on these things. My heart went out to them. I was experiencing empathy and compassion! I was ever so tenaciously walking in their moccasins, seeing a different perspective! I thought back to situations where I'd practiced forgiveness and began to understand why some instances were life-changing.
A little more than forty years ago there was a space in time where I practiced forgiveness which benefited me ever since. I have an adopted sister. For years, as children, we antagonized each other. Because of family circumstances negative feelings ran high related to her adoption. As a child I believe I picked up on those negative feelings and I hated her and wished her misery. Fortunately, as I grew into adulthood, I became curious about my adopted sister. I was confused by my feelings of ill will and wondered why we never got along. One day I was so curious I called her and invited her over. She jumped on the invitation. We got together for one of many sessions where we dissected our feelings, the family dynamics and the "why" behind our childhood emotions. As we talked we discovered we really liked each other. It was the beginning of a strong and loving bond between us that is quite different from my other sibling relationships. Recently I thought back to the period of time where we expressed our feelings and forgave each other. Because this experience was so potent I can visualize it even now. As I visualize I feel again the great release of negative emotions. I feel once more the wondrous joy that filled me in its place. I feel the respect and love which were born back then. Through the years I have remained a little in awe at this experience. Adoption notwithstanding my sister is a true sister; she is a soul sister. She is such an integral part of my life I cannot imagine being disassociated from her as I once was. When I think of my sister I am filled with love for her and I'll forever be grateful I was brave enough to step toward her in peace.
"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." ~Mahatma Gandhi
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Moe: Posted on Saturday, December 03, 2011 6:23 AM
The
prophecies of the ancient Incas speak about the present – our present – as a
period of wondrous transformation, a time when humans will make a remarkable
difference in the world. They foretell of a new human appearing on Earth - a
person of wisdom and power, recognizing their true divine nature, living free
of fear and accepting stewardship for all creation. I witness from day-to-day
the awakening of more and more individuals who are seeking a path of
enlightenment. I believe these prophecies have begun to take place.
The Munay-Ki
is the nine rites of initiation to become that person of wisdom and power.
These nine rites are common to all shamanic traditions even though they are
expressed in different forms and styles in different cultures. They originate
from the great initiations from the Hindus Valley which were brought to the
Americas by the first medicine men and women crossing the Baring Straits from
Siberia some 30,000 years ago. The
Munay-Ki rites are gifted or handed down from teacher to student; given to
those are ready and feel a calling for this initiation. It is an amazing
experience!
The Rites of
the Munay-Ki transform and upgrade an individual’s luminous energy field. They
are energetic transmissions that heal the wounds of our past - our karmic and
genetic inheritance. These energetic transmissions re-inform our DNA, enabling us
to grow a new body - one that ages, heals, and dies differently. The Munay-Ki
is a summons to dream a new world into being.
Adrianne “Dancing
Spirit”, a practicing Shaman and wonderful friend, transmitted these rites for
a group of five of us. She was educational and informative as she taught us
each of the rites – what each rite means and how it will impact our future. She
emphasized our connectedness to all other living things and the importance of
us taking care of our world and each other. She explained each initiation and
rite; the bands of protection and the planting of seeds of pure potential. She
taught us it would be up to us as to what we would do with it.
During the
first four rites I could feel the energy and then felt a little light headed.
Then, during the Seers Rites, Adrianne bent down and whispered, close to my
ear, “You were my teacher”. I immediately began to softly cry. From the depths
of my spirit I already held this knowledge. I knew I was Shaman in at least two
past lives. The entire day of the rites I felt a tremendous energy between us.
It was more energy than what I usually felt. I felt a little headachy. But I
was happy we connected as we did because I’ve always been drawn to her and knew
we were somehow connected. Our time together was powerful, almost like sparks
flying between us. When she completed the Seers rites, I stood and turned to
her. She looked at me as though looking into my soul and with so much love I
could feel it coming at me in waves! She said “You were my Shaman, my teacher!
And you know that, don’t you?” I nodded and told her how I’d been feeling all
day. We hugged and cried together, hugs and tears of joy at being reunited. We
talked about how amazing it was that we met again in this life time.
Now, how
COOL is THAT?
We all met
again on two additional occasions to complete the rites. During the time
between these sessions I practiced the fire ceremony, pulling smoky fire into
each chakra and making statements such as “With fire I feed the Serpent,
growing this seed, feeding it well”. During our second meeting we did an
additional two rites and had to stop. The energy surge and the visions from these
rites were potent. I could see colors blazing in front of my closed eyes. The
energy was so strong we were all wiped out after the sixth rite. We sat for
some time in a mild stupor and Adrianne decided we would stop for the day.
In our last
session we completed the remaining three rites. When Adrianne completed the
ninth rite with me, she leaned into me and laughing softly she said, “You are
so easy….it just happens with you.” I felt as though I were floating on air
after the rites were finished. I kept grounding myself and did some walking but
continued to feel light as a feather. I saw myself out on a high, wooded mesa,
in the dark of night, gathered with others around a fire. I was helping others,
channeling healing energy. The air was crisp but I felt warm and full of love. I
immersed myself in the feeling of that love and the vision, enjoying it. I
didn’t want to talk about it; I just wanted the feeling to sink into every cell
of my body, my spirit. We all lingered long enough that I began to feel normal
again before we left.
The Munay-Ki
rites initiation seemed to make me feel calm in spirit and comfortable in my
power and knowledge. I began to feel confident with the things I’d learned over
the last few years. Then other things began to happen in the weeks following
our last gathering.
One morning
after talking to Tina, a close friend who also took the rites, I had a “come to
Jesus” meeting with my ego. I was lying on the floor of my front room and I
began to speak to the Universe. “I get it. I understand. I must begin to care
for myself, my body as well as my mind. I will eat properly and trim down. I
will get more exercise. I will quit smoking.” I cried as I released what I had
been trying to run from. I knew in my heart I needed to be healthy to continue
to live well, without pain, without all the unneeded weight, without the breathing
difficulties. I laid on the floor for some time remembering back to the times
where these physical challenges were born. I forgave. I sent love. I forgave
and loved myself. I’d been down this road before. This time there was an
urgency, a sincerity. Afterward I felt
better. Unknown to me at that time there was more to face.
I don’t know
if it was because of the Munay-Ki or a combination with the holidays coming on
that brought on depression for more than a week. At first I did nothing but
when the depression continued I began to take a natural supplement to help with
the depression. It didn’t seem to help even though it had always helped in the
past. I thought for sure it was the holidays and missing Jeff. I became angry
and with the anger I lamented my lost life. I hadn’t released grief for some
time. Memories flooded over me. My anger rose and tears of loss spilled down my
face. I lifted my head to the heavens and roared out, “I want to go back! I
want my wealth back! I want my Jeff back! I want my house back! Why can’t I
just go back to the good times, to a life I loved?” I let myself wallow in self
pity as I remembered my old life. As if Angel, my Reiki Master knew, she called
me as this was happening. I tried to cover up but it spilled out in questions.
I asked her if maybe it was okay to dwell on the past, to wish I was still there.
Then I told her what I’d been yelling at the Universe. Angel pointedly asked me
questions. “Who are you now? Tell me
what you have.” I told her, “OK, I have a good bed, I have furniture in my front
room, I have things around me I like…” Angel interrupted, “You’re describing
material things. Tell me what you have!”
I thought a moment and, a little humbled, I said “Me. I have me for the first time in my life. I
control my life and no one tells me what to do or when to do it.” I went on and
described the abundance in my life, the love that surrounds me and all the
inner change I’ve exerienced. After our talk I took more time to let sink in
what I just stated. I seemed to be through the crisis. And yet, there was still
more.
For several weeks I’d been waking up between 3
and 4 AM. Tina told me the numbers indicated I was being downloaded by the Archangels.
This continued during the weeks following the last of the Munay-Ki rites. One
morning, after waking up early once again, I laid there, just plain tired and
wishing to sleep in peace. I began to talk to the Universe, the Great Spirit
and stated out loud, “Okay, Okay, OKAY! I give up! I surrender! Whatever it is
that is being pushed at me, I accept it! I surrender, I accept.” I laid there
limp as a rag, weary of the fight, the frustration. As I spoke these words over
and over I began to envision what was in store for me. Oh yes, deep down in the
core of my being, I already knew. I am such a stubborn creature! Later that
morning, as I picked up around the house, I packed up a stack of books Tina
brought for me to read. I wouldn’t have time for these. They would have been
entertaining and perhaps enlightening however, these were not the books I
should be studying. I sat down and selected a few books on the internet and ordered
them. They were books about reading auras. What I had seen in the early morning hours was
a vision of me reading auras for others and incorporating aura reading into my
Reiki sessions as a tool. Once I recognized and voiced this, it seemed as
though relief washed over me. My depression immediately lifted and I was my old
joyful self again.
It’s often
comical how true I am to the Gemini characteristics. Stubborn to a fault, I’d
been running from developing my gift of seeing auras. I’d run so fast that I’d
lost the ability to see colors. I blamed this on not being in the Lightworkers Center
location but in truth, I was denying something that will play a role in the growth
toward my highest potential and what I can offer to others.
I believe
the Munay-Ki rites, the planting and feeding of the seeds of potential, had a
dramatic effect on making things happen more quickly and with a dedication to
accomplishing my goals. Yes, I would have eventually gotten there the long way
around; it was the Munay-Ki that sped up the process, forcing me to drop my
stubbornness and helping me to face my truth.
Adrianne, my
dearest Teacher, my student of the past, I am in deepest appreciation to you.
The very first time we met, when you visited a Tai Chi class and sat next to
me, I knew we were connected and destined for something wonderful. I honor you,
Adrianne and am honored by your guidance, your knowledge and your love. Thank-you
once again for this amazing gift! Namaste! |
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Maureen Poorman: Posted on Wednesday, October 26, 2011 9:46 AM
 How I wish I were a tree! Growing wild and living free. Each day reaching to Father Sun, Gathering light till day is done. The gifts are many I give to all – Living creatures, great and small. Tiny bugs crawl to scavenge my bark, Some by day, some in the dark. Bear shows up to sharpen his claws, Careful, Bear, my skin you’ll maul! He scratches his back, leaning on me, Must feel good to shake up the fleas! A golden honeycomb might be found, In branches where it’s tightly bound. All kinds of birds come to build their nests; A place for new life and a place to rest. They sing to me their lovely songs, One at a time or in great throngs. Moss is seen at my earthy base, Nature’s gift of delicate lace. Ivy grows in a swirl of vines, Creeping gently up my spine. Mighty branches reach up to the sky – Great for climbing if you’re young and spry! Clothed in leaves of beautiful hues; The color depends on the season you choose. Offering shade in summer’s heat, The animals come to cool and meet. At night there’s work, cleaning the air, Releasing oxygen with quiet flair. Standing alone or in a forest expanse, Where in the wind we seem to dance. No human problems, no mortal cares, I stand tall and proud, putting on no airs. Although I need nourished, what I give back is free. Give me a hug and appreciate me! |
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Maureen Poorman: Posted on Monday, October 24, 2011 8:19 AM
 I awoke with a start this morning as though I were on a mission. With curiosity I looked at the clock and it was 3:57 AM. Although it has been two years, I feel mixed about the time. It feels like it was so long ago and yet, I see myself moving through that time like it was yesterday. Two years ago today, in the early morning hours, Jeff left my world. Did he shake me awake today to remind me?
I feel fortunate that Jeff called out to me. In those last two years I was ever near, yet on that morning Jeff had moved from his chair to the bed without waking me. He cried out to me. I lay on the couch, confused because he weren't there. It took me only a moment to clear my head - there was something different, urgent, in his voice. I was propelled into action, flying off the couch and racing down the hall to find him on the bed, writhing in pain. I searched frantically for the Nitro tablets only to find empty bottles. I dialed 911. I raced to fling open the front doors. The EMT had visited before and I knew they would walk in without knocking. Instinct told me this event was different. I'm so blessed I had those last minutes with him. I cradled Jeff in my arms and told him help was on the way. I spoke words of love and comfort to him. My lips against his ear, I must have whispered "I love you" a hundred times. The only other words rushing from my depths were to tell him not to leave me. Suddenly. the emergency team was there, filling the room. Time seemed to speed up and I watched while they worked on him. As I answered questions my eyes watched the team work with pronounced urgency I hadn't seen in past episodes. Little papers seemed to float and almost suspend in the air. Later, I would clean up packaging from all the sterile things they pulled from their kits. One of them spoke, "We have to get him to the hospital - NOW!" They lifted Jeff as though he were weightless, laying him on a crash cart. With the emergency team hovering, Jeff disappeared down the hall, out the door and into the ambulance. In hurried words I let the crew know I was right behind them - as soon as I could dress and drive to the hospital.
We each choose how, when and where to leave our human body. I understand this so clearly now. I was not to be there when Jeff actually died. But it must have looked comical that morning, my trying to make it to the hospital. I dressed hurriedly and ran to the car. Damn! It wouldn't start! No recent problems with it but that morning it wasn't going to take me to the hospital. I jumped out and looked at the neighbor's houses. It was so early no one was up, no one was moving around; it was still dark. I ran back to the house and called for a cab, then returned to the curb. Adrenalin racing, I paced the sidewalk impatiently. The cab didn't come. I ran back to the house and called the cab company again. Somehow they got the address wrong! They apologized and said they were near and would be there directly. As soon as I hung up I got a call from the hospital. They wanted to know if I was going to come over. "YES!" I shouted - "as soon as the cab arrives!" I hung up with them and froze. They never called me before. Of course, they never had to wait on me in the past and I was never needed, always gently pushed aside while Jeff was cared for. WHERE WAS THE CAB? I paced in and out of the house. A second call came from the hospital. The caller let me know that I was to stop at the Emergency desk on my way in. WHERE WAS THE DAMN CAB? My gut was twisted; I was overwhelmed with dread. From deep within I knew what had already happened. My body began to understand too. I started slowing down - my mind and body were already accepting what my heart didn't want to face. I looked around for the first time that morning. It had turned light, the sun coming up and the early Autumn air was cooling me as I now sat patiently. The cab finally arrived and I was on the way. I knew my actions were after the fact. At the hospital I was guided into a small side room where a Chaplin waited. I wanted to scream, to run away! It seemed as though I were walking through a dream. If only I would wake up! The Chaplin made small talk until she saw I wasn't going to be social. With tears brimming, I told her, "I know what's happened". She said I needed to speak with the doctor and then she drew into herself and I could see her relief. I knew I was there for that announcement. A funny thought crossed my mind. I wondered if the doctors hung out in their break area, not wanting to voice the news to family, perhaps trying to get someone else to do it. I felt compassion for them - it had to be one of their toughest tasks. I thought, "Come on, Doc, I already know. Just say the words so it's out there". It seemed like hours passed even though it really wasn't long before the doctor walked in. I stood and faced him, looking into his eyes as he spoke. His words seemed to hang in the air as I took them in one by one. On this morning, two years ago, my life dramatically changed. My best friend, my buddy and partner - the love of my life - left his pain behind, along with his weary human form, and became a part of the spiritual world which exists in and around me.
Yes, Jeff chose his time with intent. His intention was to ascend to the spirit world while I was forced to take time to slow down, begin to take it in and become calm. If time had not elapsed before I arrived at the hospital I would have literally flown apart. I would have been difficult to deal with. I would not have faced the truth with an open heart. I would have pushed it all away, full of denial. I wouldn't have been prepared for the finality of those words before they exploded into my understanding.
Jeff's spirit was vibrant in life. He lived well, laughing and loving through the years. We had a spectacular life together. His spirit remains near as well as vibrant. Many curious phenomenon take place in my life. Jeff's energy continues to exist and has only changed form. Only hours after his death, Jeff appeared to a close friend while others felt his presence and heard him speak. It was later that day when I first experienced his spiritual nearness. He came to me singing the song "Always and Forever". As bizarre as it may seem to others, I was given the gift of seeing his form several times. Many of us continue to occasionally see him and hear from him. Living in a world of time, space and form, we humans have the wondrous ability to "see" beyond. I have chosen to be open to these experiences because they bring comfort, delight and greater spiritual understanding.
I'm so very, very blessed to have had the opportunity to love and live part of my life with Jeff. The period of consummate grief has passed. Writing the poem "Loved by Jeff" and releasing his ashes marked the end of that moment-to-moment grief where I existed for so long. In recent weeks I've been experiencing the joy of living in the present and the urgency to move on at a greater pace. I sorely miss Jeff in my human life. Wonderful memories and laughter at our times together are great comfort to me as I move forward without the fear of death. For death is only a breath away and he will be there. I love you my darling Jeff, always and forever...
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Maureen Poorman: Posted on Monday, October 17, 2011 11:41 AM
A
simple concept is to “love one another”. But words
often hurt our sisters and brothers! When
words are spoken where arrows fly, The
unseen is judged – It’s too late to deny.
Ask
for protection; call your Angels to be near; Be aware
of your words and consider what you hear. From
mortal eyes we each see our world; What
one sees as straight, another sees curled.
Push
away the negative that others may show – Set boundaries
for self; protect your spirit’s glow. Then
cut away all which for you does not serve; Choose
kinships that keep your soul preserved.
Speak
from the heart with kindness and love; What
is voiced to the universe will return from above. I’ve
found it so true what we sow we will reap – It
becomes our reality, those words which we speak!
While
this is all good it’s important to know – Speaking
our truth is a part of life’s flow. Holding
back what eats at our hearts or our minds, Can
prevent moving forward; Spirits unaligned.
Use
kind loving words; choose well what you say. Sow
and reap love on your journey’s pathway! Speaking
from hearts filled with love ever flowing, Yields
a world full of light forever glowing! |
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