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Read my Poetry!
Short Stories
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Maureen: Posted on Sunday, May 20, 2012 12:31 PM
 Divine Timing is the philosophy that there is a time and a place for everything. Along with others who begin to discover their higher self, I've often joked about Divine Timing even though again and again I've come across the truth in this philosophy. The most recent example of Divine Timing took place weeks ago along a river northeast of Phoenix. For weeks previous to this trip I struggled with releasing my feelings and experiences with men. When I spoke of the men in my life it was often laced with sarcasm and under tones of anger.
From my father to my husband I allowed men to control my life. I love my husband even though he controlled our life together. Truthfully, I was quite contented to be controlled by him because he let me get away with a lot. Even though I struggled with him leaving the planet before I wanted him to, I grew to realize his leaving was Divine Timing. Then, there was Mr. Williams. I was overwhelmed with anger at this man who stripped me of my fortune; my retirement dollars. I felt hatred toward him even though I never met him. I knew he was my greatest stumbling block. Try as I might I could not bring myself to release these feelings. I wanted to; I put effort into it, but it just wasn't happening. Then, at the edge of a river, out in nature and close to Mother Earth, a conversation took place which lead to these feelings surfacing and overflowing. Two loving friends were there for me, guiding and encouraging me. It became so easy to let it go. All the anger, frustration and ill will I'd been holding on to poured out and like a snake, slithered down to the river and disappeared into the waters to be cleansed, released and transformed into love. It was a tremendous weight lifting from me, never to return. I forgave. I forgave myself for allowing men to control me and I forgave them for their part. I was able to say "I forgive you, Mr. Williams, for taking all my money." Never mind how the dominoes fell in my life - I forgave. As in all my major releases an epiphany usually follows. I didn't feel that insight for several hours. Perhaps I was just enjoying the peace which comes with releasing negative feelings and anger filled thoughts.
That beautiful day came to an end and as we packed up, headed back up to the car and drove back into town, I felt light as a feather. I was full of peace and contentment. Back in town as we unpacked and got ready to part, we all hugged and said a few words about the wonderful time we all had. I remember standing in the parking lot, looking up to the heavens and saying, "I forgive you, Mr. Williams! And I can say now that I love you! And I appreciate you!" It was then the epiphany burst into my vision. It was like a lightening bolt, crackling and whipping around me. "OMG and Wow! I just realized, if it hadn't been for Mr. Williams, if it hadn't been for the other controlling men in my life, I undoubtedly would not be here at this very moment!" Visions of the changes that occurred in my life the last few years flew through my mind. No fortune, no husband and no house, I felt stripped down to nothing. Yet, I discovered so much more! I was filled with love and appreciation for these men - these precious men in my life!
 In the days that followed I was amazed how my feelings were transformed and turned into love, forgiveness and gratitude. Especially with Mr. Williams and the Divine Timing that transpired in his own life, he played a key role in my own. I was given the opportunity to begin a new journey - a journey into self. My new journey is filled with discovery, insight, creativity, peace, genuine happiness and so much joy! I can honestly say I am very happy with who I am and where I am. I love my journey!
As I look at this experience I see it laid out before me, all with Divine Timing. An enormous release, guided by loving friends, given to Mother Earth, was exactly what was supposed to happen down at the river's edge. The wisdom that followed - the ability to really love and appreciate those who were involved in my pain - including myself - will always be cherished.
And, to end on a comical note, while all this was taking place, several single men moved into homes next to me and across the street from me. The Universe has a sense of humor that will fill you will laughter! All a part of the lesson - and believe me, I'm laughing! |
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Maureen: Posted on Wednesday, April 04, 2012 1:39 PM
It may or may not seem strange that the more we chase
something, the more it eludes us. Especially in our world today it seems we are
always on the run – always trying to do as much as possible in as little time as
necessary. Even though "living in the moment" is a popular buzz phrase, it's
more often a challenge left by the wayside.
I always believed myself to be fortunate because of my
personality type. I’m usually pretty laid back and take things at a fairly calm
pace. I rarely allow anything or anyone to disrupt the tranquility I love to
feel in my life. Recently I gave an example to a friend as we discussed the present day rush to get everything done. When I’m out in traffic I observe there is always
at least one person who feels they must get ahead so they zoom through the
yellow light even though everyone else has stopped. Then, as I drive toward the
next traffic light, who do I see stopped there? Yep! It’s the same person who
thought rushing ahead was getting them to their destination more quickly. This
example always proves to me that rushing only appears to work well. It’s an
illusion many are caught up in.
There are feelings associated with the habit of living in
the moment. When I practice living in the moment I feel detached to what is
going on around me. I feel like the observer, distanced from any chaos and buffered from strong emotions. At the same time I feel detached, I still have a clear focus on my present. As I focus on
my present I continue to sense and enjoy what's going on around me. That’s a
great thing because I love to have fun and laugh a lot! Living in the moment I can acknowledge my
past is just that – my history and on occasion, a good point of reference – but
not a good place to live. And I have desires and dreams, yet my future has not yet
arrived and worrying about what’s going to happen would be wasted energy.
It takes practice and patience to become proficient at
living in the moment. I work at mastering this ability because I believe it’s a
habit well worth building. Living in the moment brings me to my truth, teaches me
of self love and acceptance; helps me see the world in a new and fascinating way.
Living in the moment brings joy to my life and clarity to my path. The benefits are boundless!
Years ago, during a Leadership Conference we did an exercise where we had to define the phrase "Be Here Now". My thoughts and words so enlightened a fellow attendee that I had it printed and framed. It says: To have a crystal focus on the present...To hear, see, smell, taste and touch as though for the first time...To observe what's before me in an open, unprejudiced way.
If you have a desire to “know thyself”, living in the moment
will open this magical experience to you too! Namaste! |
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Maureen: Posted on Monday, March 12, 2012 3:53 PM
 We began to gather inside the medicine wheel for the March Full
Moon Celebration. Each month, as the quiet and darkness settle over the city we
gather at Angel’s place. Working together we set up the Shining
Wheel, placing stones to symbolize each position. Someone always clears the
area with tingshaw bells. Others bring chairs, pillows and blankets for comfort or warmth. Everyone is given a pencil and piece of paper. As we come into the
Wheel we bring or choose a percussion type instrument. We sing and drum, raising our energy. Often it feels as though we become a united and joyous
force. We set aside drums and shakers and talk about what Grandma Moon provides, what she symbolizes and how
she affects our life. In the darkness we write of our appreciation and manifested desires. Angel guides us through a meditation. Toward the end of the
evening we do a burn, dropping our pieces of paper into a fire while watching
the smoke of our intentions float up into the darkness and out to the
universe. We always end these ceremonies standing in a circle within the Wheel.
With our hands linked together we yell out our joy to Grandma Moon and the
universe at large.
Each
celebration, although similar in design, is quite different energetically. Wonderful things always happen in the Shining Wheel. Many experience the opening of senses
in what seems like magical ways. Many experience the first signs of spiritual
awakening within the love filled surroundings of Mother Earth. I always enjoy watching as everyone walks away
from this celebration. The faces of friends glow with joy and enlightenment.
Angel encourages us to share our experiences. She
knows we all grow and grasp greater understanding by hearing the variety of personal
adventures which often occur during this event. Each month I see and feel new experiences. I've seen beautiful human auras. Occasionally I see
bright spots of light. Several months ago, for the first time, I saw someone
completely disappear. It jolted me! I not only saw this person disappear once,
I saw them vanish twice in the same evening. Then, during the March Full Moon Celebration, Angel disappeared several
times right before my eyes!
During the
meditation I sat with eyes closed, immersed in happiness and feeling completely
relaxed and peaceful. Caught up in Angel’s words and murmuring my own
appreciation I suddenly felt I should open my eyes and take a look around. I
glanced around the circle of friends and then my eyes rested on Angel. Seated
directly across from me, soft light from nearby residences fell behind her and prevented
me from clearly seeing her face. I couldn't tell if her eyes were open or
closed. As I gazed over her head I looked for her aura. I saw the soft white
glow of the energy close to her body. I held my gaze, looking for colors. As I took in her entire
being I noticed she was disappearing from the ground up. I blinked my eyes, shook
my head and looked again. She was definitely disappearing! As I watched her
body evaporate it was as though she wasn't there even though I heard her
continue to lead the meditation. The darkness of the grass, the sidewalk behind
it and the building beyond that were all intact – all right there where she was
supposed to be. Again, I blinked my eyes. I turned my head to the side, and
looked back. Pieces of her were there but disappearing fast. Even the chair she
sat on vanished. I could only see her hair this time. Another shake of my head
and I looked away. It seemed absurd and I wanted to believe it was my vision but I knew what I was experiencing was real. I looked back to where she was
supposed to be. Now I couldn’t take my eyes off her. She became visible again
and just as quickly, again began to dissolve. This time I almost laughed. All
that was remaining were her eye glasses. The reflection from a neighbor’s porch
light made the glasses look eerie; little ovals of white light bouncing back at
me. Angel ended the meditation and I glanced around the circle as she asked, “Would
anyone like to share their experience tonight?” Everyone was quiet. I blurted
out what happened. Later I would ask myself, "Was Angel really disappearing? Was she becoming pure energy? Or was I seeing Angel as she really is? Did it really matter?" If I were
the self of two years ago I would have thought perhaps I needed to seek professional help.
Now-a-days this type of phenomena excites me but doesn’t seem so unusual. In
what seems a short span of time I discovered I see auras and occasionally a
ghostly figure or two. I hear voices now and again. I smell some of the most pungent
odors. And I seem to feel energy more
and more often. I feel quite relaxed as these strange things take place in my
world. I also feel honored that Spirit dwells within and around me as I allow
this transformation to unfold. Although I’ve no conscious idea where this path
takes me, I am not afraid – and am indeed excited – as I continue to step forward!
Namaste! |
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Posted on Wednesday, March 07, 2012 3:02 PM
A year and a half has passed since I moved into a rental mobile home. So aged is this abode that I laughingly call it the "tin can". Before I moved in my
Shaman friend, Reverend Adrianne came over and did a house clearing. It was an enlightening experience to say the least.
I met
Adrianne through Angel, the owner of Lightworkers Gifts and Energy Healing Center. One day I was
attending Tai Chi which had become a part of my routine in late 2008. One day as we were practicing Tai Chi this gal walks in, all
bubbly and happy and asks if she can just sit in the circle with us. Angel introduced Adrianne to us and told us Adrianne was a Shaman. She sat next to
me and I could feel her energy. I could
feel a connection that would develop into a friendship. We met for breakfast several times and had great conversations. One day I told Adrianne I was moving. Adrianne, also fondly known as AJ, offered to do a house clearing for my new home. So one day, while everything was still in boxes, AJ met me at my new place. This was the first time I ever had my house cleared so I was excited about this experience. AJ walked around my rental property while I took notes on several things that needed to be on my inspection report or repaired by the management company. She was very thorough and detailed and before
long I had a decent list going. It had been years since I had a rental property
and I didn’t look at it the same way she did. For me this part of her service
was above and beyond and very appreciated.
Before we
began the ceremony I told Adrienne about the
form of a human adult I saw one day as I was leaving. She smiled and
told me there was more than one but she was happy I confirmed what she was already sensing. She said she felt there was more than this one entity and would know for sure after she completed the clearing. In the front room AJ laid out her mesa which contained a variety of tools such as a rattle, a smudge fan and wand, a candle, some gemstone crystals and totems. Then AJ began to explain exactly what she would be doing and how I would help. She said she would begin at the back of the house and would check out every nook
and cranny, every closet, drawer and shelf and every room. She told me not to be surprised if she climbed counters or crawled into small spaces. As she did, she would clear the space of any and all old energies. She said I could help by carrying a lighted candle and lighting the sage wand if it went out. She explained to me that she worked with the
spirit Big Thunder. As she spoke she laughed and said “He’s telling me his real name is
Thunder but I call him big Thunder because he is so huge – he makes himself so
large and wears a feathered headdress that is gigantic and flows a long
way behind him." AJ said she calls Mother Earth Pachamama which is what the Incas call the Earth. She wanted me to be familar with these names because she would use them as she cleared space. She also let me know that we would not talk during the clearing unless she was giving me instructions. If there was anything I wanted to know I could ask her after the clearing was completed. When AJ was finished explaining everything she sent me outdoors where I sprinkled tobacco all the way around the property. She told me this was to protect all my property so I needed to sprinkle around everything I wanted to include.
When I came back inside we began at the back of
the house and I carried the candle as I watched AJ. In the bedroom AJ saged and chanted
while walking around the room. She stopped at the bedroom closet. She stepped into the closet, then got down on her hands and knees. She seemed to focus on something I couldn't see or feel. She backed out of the closet and instructed me to how to sage the room as she worked in the closet. She told me there were three entities all huddled in the corner of the closet. They didn't want to leave. She was going to open a portal for 60 seconds and during that time they would leave. This was the most she spoke to me during the entire event. We made our way through the rest of the house without anything similar happening. Ending the ceremony in the front room, AJ knelt in front of her mesa, placing all her tools back on the colorful cloth. She looked up at me and as she smiled she said, "You new space is cleared and it's just you now. Do you have any questions?" You bet I did! I asked her about the bedroom closet and she described what she saw. There were two little girls huddled in the corner of the closet. Along side the girls stood a man - undoubtedly the man I'd seen myself. She said she got the feeling that the girls actually lived in the mobile home some time ago. She didn't know if they died there or not but for some reason their spirits remained. She said the man didn't ever live inside this space but she felt he was perhaps a frontiersman who wandered through the valley many decades ago. She told me she had to let them know they were dead and it was time to leave the Earth plane. Opening the portal was successful and they were no longer in my space. I asked if spirits could just pop in and think they lived here with me and she laughed and said, "No, Big Thunder took care of that - he put a big sign over your front door that says No Vacancies!"
During the last many months I've cleared my space many times. I do this to keep my space clear and to move out energies which I feel aren't needed or desired. I've used smudge wands, rattles, my drum and also clapping my hands. I've found the most effective method for me is the drum or rattle. These not only get rid of old energies, they also raise my energy and make this place feel very homey. I've never seen anyone else who doesn't belong here - except what I've manifested myself. But that's another story altogether! |
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Moe: Posted on Sunday, January 15, 2012 1:21 PM
Forgiveness is a powerful emotion and action. It is a release of negative, useless energy. By learning forgiveness one can move forward with a lighter step, enjoy life more fully and be spiritually and mentally at peace. When I consider my own benefits from learning to forgive, I see myself beginning to stand taller and straighter. I experience peace of spirit.
I have a shelf unit in my home where I display family pictures. I began to sit in front of the pictures and often took a picture in my hands. As I looked at the pictures I thought back to moments in time where I felt I'd been hurt or wronged. I looked directly at the faces in these pictures and released old wounds and hurts. Quite often I would talk about the experience while forgiving not only that person but also forgiving myself. This took some time but with each healed wound I began to feel whole. I began to feel love for myself and I began to feel the love my family has for me. The burden I had been carrying was getting in the way of fully loving others. I talked to my parents, the first time in years. I told them of old wounds I'd thought of over the years. Memories that made me feel unworthy and unpretty. I heard my deceased parents whisper their love for me; almost felt them holding me. It was the beginning of so many lessons! A year or more after embarking on the path of forgiveness I was suddenly enlightened. One day as I realized those I'd forgiven had or have their own path, their own contract when existing in this reality. I thought of my folks and how they were raised, the beliefs and experiences they brought into their union and how they managed to their life, family and careers based on these things. My heart went out to them. I was experiencing empathy and compassion! I was ever so tenaciously walking in their moccasins, seeing a different perspective! I thought back to situations where I'd practiced forgiveness and began to understand why some instances were life-changing.
A little more than forty years ago there was a space in time where I practiced forgiveness which benefited me ever since. I have an adopted sister. For years, as children, we antagonized each other. Because of family circumstances negative feelings ran high related to her adoption. As a child I believe I picked up on those negative feelings and I hated her and wished her misery. Fortunately, as I grew into adulthood, I became curious about my adopted sister. I was confused by my feelings of ill will and wondered why we never got along. One day I was so curious I called her and invited her over. She jumped on the invitation. We got together for one of many sessions where we dissected our feelings, the family dynamics and the "why" behind our childhood emotions. As we talked we discovered we really liked each other. It was the beginning of a strong and loving bond between us that is quite different from my other sibling relationships. Recently I thought back to the period of time where we expressed our feelings and forgave each other. Because this experience was so potent I can visualize it even now. As I visualize I feel again the great release of negative emotions. I feel once more the wondrous joy that filled me in its place. I feel the respect and love which were born back then. Through the years I have remained a little in awe at this experience. Adoption notwithstanding my sister is a true sister; she is a soul sister. She is such an integral part of my life I cannot imagine being disassociated from her as I once was. When I think of my sister I am filled with love for her and I'll forever be grateful I was brave enough to step toward her in peace.
"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." ~Mahatma Gandhi
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